a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
