im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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