2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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