Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
