i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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