Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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