Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
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Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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