Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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