Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
