there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
