If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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