I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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