Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
