im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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