Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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