My hand turned me down
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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