then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
