Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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