The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
