Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
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Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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