I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
