that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
