OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
