sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
