kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
