I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
