I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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