just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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