we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
