found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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