can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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