Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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