mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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