She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize