so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
