oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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