we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I need to align my fucking chakras
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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