Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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