THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
