MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
