C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
