The best revenge is premature balding
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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