Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
