Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
