I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I will be naked everywhere
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
