Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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