You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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