just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
