I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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