I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
