I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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