I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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