She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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