Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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