i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
