Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
