dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
