thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
These tits shall not be calmed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
