I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
